Today, I want to share a piece of my journey about how I transformed my relationship with envy,
You might also know it as jealousy or comparison. It comes in many forms and is part of our human experience.
Envy has been a close companion for as long as I can remember. It’s that voice telling me I could never be like “them.” It has been trying to convince me that staying small was safer and that ultimately I was never going to be enough, no matter how hard I tried.
In today’s world, it’s easier than ever to compare ourselves to others.
I often have moments of self-doubt. Heck, it’s almost part of my daily routine. And guess what, all of those thoughts are rooted in comparison.
But, here’s the difference between me 10 years ago, and the me now who is taking action on the regular towards her desires : I have transformed my relationship with envy.
I recognize that A. Envy, comparison, jealousy are only small parts of me, they do not define me as a whole and B. I am grateful for all these thoughts and feelings because they have allowed me to get crystal clear on what I desire for myself and how I want to embody those dreams and qualities in my own unique way.
The doubt has become my north star – but I also had a map. Here are some of the tools I used to get myself there.
Recognizing and Creating Space for Your Parts
One of the most empowering steps in this journey has been learning to recognize and create space for all the parts of me, even the ones that bring up feelings of envy or self-doubt. Here’s how you can do it:
1. Acknowledge Your Feelings:
- Action: Start by acknowledging your feelings without judgment. Recognize envy, jealousy, or self-doubt as natural parts of your emotional landscape.
- Example: When you feel envy creeping in, take a moment to sit with it. Name it, and understand that it’s a signal, not a definition of who you are.
2. Have a Conversation with Your Envy:
- Action: Instead of pushing away feelings of envy, invite them in for a conversation. Ask yourself what this envy is trying to tell you about your desires and dreams.
- Example: Write down what your envy is saying. Is it pointing out something you truly want? Is it highlighting a quality you admire in others but haven’t yet embraced in yourself?
3. Practice Compassion:
- Action: Treat these feelings with compassion. Understand that they are part of your growth and self-discovery process.
- Example: Instead of beating yourself up for feeling envious, remind yourself that it’s okay to have these feelings. Be gentle with yourself as you navigate through them.
Leaning Into Envy to Get Clear on Dreams and Desires
Envy, when approached with curiosity, can be a powerful tool for getting clear on your dreams and desires. Here’s how to lean into it and turn it into a source of inspiration:
1. Identify What You Admire:
- Action: When you feel envy, pinpoint exactly what it is you admire about the person or situation.
- Example: Is it their confidence, their creativity, or their achievements? Write these down and reflect on why these qualities resonate with you.
2. Define Your Own Desires:
- Action: Use the insights from your envy to define what you truly want for yourself.
- Example: If you envy someone’s confidence, ask yourself how you can cultivate that quality in your own life. What steps can you take to build your confidence?
3. Create an Action Plan:
- Action: Turn your reflections into actionable steps. Set goals that align with your newfound clarity about your desires.
- Example: If you desire to be more confident on stage, start by taking small steps such as joining a local public speaking group or practicing in front of friends.
Join the Journey
Free Meditation: To help you on this journey, I’m offering a free meditation to guide you through setting your intentions and embracing your desires. Download it [here].
By consistently embracing these practices, you can transform envy into empowerment and build lasting confidence in your self and in your ability to embody and achieve your desires! Ready to embrace your journey in sensual embodiment? Join us in studio at Rise Boudoir.
Photos taken at a women’s retreat in Oct 2023. It was such a powerful experience to take off my mask and be celebrated by such amazing women! Photo credit to my good friend Rami from Black Lace Boudoir.